quick update

i never update, and that doesn't really matter because I don't have a lot of followers, but it still makes me upset that I never set aside time to do this for myself.

Anyways....

I've started practicing for roller derby. I went to my first practice last week, and it was only like the 2nd time i've ever had rollerskates on my feet.

since then i've gone like 3 times on my own to practice. I really love it! but i'm still getting used to it! I really feel like i need to do this. All my life i've been afraid of doing things alone, since I am always stuck alone. I have such anxiety though about everything, and being alone really freaks me out when I am outside of my hermit shell. But going by myself was so AMAZING. i felt so strange, but proud of myself. I really need something in my life that has meaning now, litterally all I do is study (and get straight a's, i;m a damn good student) and watch tv... With Jake so far away i just feel weird doing stuff without him, even though that sound so weird since it was completely different last year!

Anyways, the woodward side has been hit pretty hard. We lost a cousin of jakes, who we loveddddd. He was 28, and had stage 4 melanoma. In August, we lost another one of jakes cousins, who died from a bleed in his brain that was left untreated after a motorcycle accident.

For me, I lost my grandpa this year. I've been to 3 funerals in the past 3 months. It's been pretty terrible, but i've realized i have a really strange way of dealing with death...

Alright well i have a hugggggee test momma must study for!
seeeyyyaaa later


(oh and I am totez stoked because for my media production film, we are doing an abstract video to a brighteyes song! Schhwing!)