I know this is lengthy, but there were real golden thoughts that I felt. I tended to bold and indent all the deep emotions and things I felt that were on the broader scope of derby. I hope you check this out, and tell me what you thought about it.
This newly announced newbie is a stay at home mother of 3 girls, who is a single mom. Of course my first question was going to be about how could she afford derby with 3 girls and no job, but I guess that’s looking in too deep. Not saying that a single stay at home mom shouldn't play roller derby, that is EXACTLY what the sport is about. I was just thinking about her life after the cameras were that about how she would make it into the derby community.
Her story is very similar to a lot of people who wander into
derby. Life knocked them hard on their ass and they start to lose their old
sense of pride and excitement. Then, when they finally realize that they
deserve to be empowered, they look and they find derby. She explains that she
wants to find her old self and the confidence that she used to have. I’m glad
that she just says that she wants to do this for herself. A lot of people do
derby because they want to “look cool,” and I’m sorry but that shit just doesn’t
fly if you want to be taken seriously. With shows like MADE it can be iffy
because people on their try completely obscure things so they can be like “suck
that peers, see I’m not a stereotype” but MADE often proves that they kind of
are…
I’m not going to lie, when she says to her mother: “How do you feel about me becoming a roller derby queen” I was like… what? I guess I’m just at the point in my derby beliefs that it’s not being about a queen, it’s about being an athlete. I can see where she would describe it as queen because of the popular song and such, and I guess she would want to own her sense of herself as a roller derby queen. Still, can’t help but my first reaction.
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| some beautiful rocky mountain roller girls, photo by Masonite Burn |
Dude, at first I was like who were they going to pick for a
coach, but dude they go and pick Rocky Mountain. I couldn’t even imagine what
it’d be like walking into my first derby practice (especially for how terrible
I was) being coached by the likes of Rocky Mountain girls who have been in the top
of their region since 2008. While the coach was from Rocky Mountain, it never
exactly said who the flat track team who Leann was playing with since they were
in Texas. She did later on go to a banked track league for the Hellcats.
BUT when that biiaaa said “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here is a whole new slew of free derby gear and I want you to show us your skills right now in broad daylight in front of the entire team and the world, so do it maybe” I felt terrible. I ALWAYS relate everything to my experience when I first started skating so I always feel like oh poor girl, even when I have seen so many girls start and they are BALLER and I get so jealous.
Honestly, she didn’t do terrible. She was doing knee falls
outside and wasn’t scared. From experience, outdoor derby anything is extremely
scary at first, especially if you’re not familiar with skating. Props to her!I really love the first heart to heart with her coach. Her coach
didn’t just fill her mind with bullshit; she was so pure and honest.
Derby is hard, and it’s such a commitment. It’s not tutus and it’s not pretty makeup with fishnets on. And then her response when she said she was tired of making excuses for herself was SO POWERFUL. Derby is so terrifying because you live your life kind of lying to yourself. You always want to tell yourself that you’re either 1) better than you are or 2) worse than you really are. When you go to derby, all that smacks you in your face. You really do feel like many times to make excuses not to do things, like “I can’t go to practice” or “I can’t do the 25 in 5 because I’m fat.” Derby makes you (well at least me) realize HOW MANY PITY PARTIES OF ONE I was having. Derby definitely has changed that for me and I am now grown up enough to stop making up so many excuses myself because I realize that failure is not always a bad thing and just because you fail doesn’t mean you can’t give one hell of a fight.
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| Photo by Terrance McNally |
I was so happy that her coach took her into their AMAZING
practice space for one on one time. Okay back to the amazing space, they could
probably fit like 3 tracks in there. It is concrete though, so it takes a hard
fall, but big girls like I love concrete because I can grip and slide at the
same time and love it!
During Leann’s first session, I think it really struck her
how hard derby is (which is where excuses come in). Her coach Lucky 7 had such
a great thing to say:
“Time out, I don’t want to hear negative talk. Around me, and I hope around your little ones, you are not just beating down on yourself. Can’t is not a word in our vocabulary. No negative remarks, no bad self talk, I only want to hear good things about you. You can do anything you put your mind to and I BELIEVE IN YOU, and YOUR GIRLS BELIEVE IN YOU. You have to believe in you.”
Can we just talk about how powerful this is? So many new rookies fall through the cracks because they don’t get this speech. Derby is growing so much that it’s hard to take every new derby player aside to say this to them, but it is so necessary. This sport changes people’s lives, and without a little encouragement, and a little motivation and support from others, they will leave without never knowing how truly amazing they are and can become.
After this first little practice, you can already see the
glow on Leann’s face.
One thing to take into consideration of this is her time
commitment. Since this is a show, the league I’m sure is focusing so much on
her and getting her trained. Also, she doesn’t have a job. I know she has kids,
but there is also a camera crew there. I just want people to realize that
although you see her struggle, this is not a common derby story. Actually, its
quite unimaginable. Getting personalized derby help daily from a league and a
specific coach isn’t going to happen often (and if it can for you, then you are
lucky and take all those oppurtunities). Usually girls walk into a recruitment
with many other new girls and there are lots of people with little skills and
limited resources of coaches. Many times, recruitment consists of a test that
you can take to even be in the league if you are on a larger scale.
Going into a REAL practice this time, with other league
members, and they have YET another practice space! SWOON. I know this is kind
of trivial, but they have 2 spaces with 2 different types of floors and both
are huge areas! Lucckkkky
Leann’s first introduction to practice seemed pretty
dramatic for her. She got thrown into a group, and it was hard to tell what
they were doing, but it did involve contact. What Leann was most affected by
was the yelling. I guess going into derby, yes it is a thing that can start out
as a “hobby”, but it is a hard core sport. There will be coaches, and some
coaches approach to motivating is yelling. She started shutting down and not
focusing on derby, and thinking way too much. You can see it in her body
language, she just stopped believing she could do it. In her interview
afterwards, you can see the internal struggle. I had so much of the same.
You think you can, and before you start derby you have such high hopes for yourself and you think you are going to be super awesome and everything will take effect immediately. But it doesn’t. And even though you thought you were strong, and thought you could do it, you question yourself. It’s impossible not to do. I still do it. But it’s the strongest of derby players who just fight through that, who are better than their own selves to just ignore your bullshit inner voice.
What I thought was even more awesome in this episode is that
you can see the sisterhood relationship building. If you’ve watched this show
before, a lot of times the coaches are a little pretentious and think of
themselves so much higher. In this episode though, I cant help but loving Lucky
7. She really isn’t just involved in being her “Coach for a TV show” but she
get involved with Leanns life and helping her fufill her future.
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| Some sweet banked track action. Photo by Earl McGehee |
This derby coaching experience was even more exciting to
watch for me because not only was she getting to learn flat track, she was also
doing BANKED track. Being from Springfield, I have never even seen a banked
track, let alone play any of it (which breaks my heart). But when I saw their
banked track, it was so spectacular! It was outside and looked so damn fun I can’t
handle it. Then it started to rain. But even more bizarre than that, she
announced that her FIRST BOUT was in 2 weeks.
I’m sorry, but I can’t quite remember when she started, but
I KNOW IT WAS UNDER 20 DAY ON THE MADE DAY LIST, and for her starting and
having a bout in 2 weeks on a banked track seems insane to me. I know we aren’t
shown everything, but skating in your first bout should never be rushed. Seeing
her go into her next practice with taking and giving hits was also a little
nerve raking. While she wsa taking some hits, the scrimmaging part seemed to
show that this was a class full of newer girls (or they were just having an off
night) but there were some dogpiles that were a little scary (not for my fear
of pain, but my fear of unnecessary injuries).
Speaking of injuries, this is the night where she gets her
first real injury! It was hard to tell how serious her injury was because
people take and show pain very differently. Also, derby find a way to be a
little bitch and break things even when you don’t think they are broken (and
vice verse because you freak yourself out). Good thing though, nothing was
broken!
In the meantime while healing though, Lucky pushed her to
practice for her GED. I loved how much of a life motivator Lucky was to her,
even to push Leann to push past her excuses. When she said that Leann was doing
good on skates and in derby, but her life is a mess and she was over it, that
really showed the power of sisterhood in derby. Sometimes you meet people who
get on your ass because they don’t know you, they don’t know your life, and
they really don’t care. But then you have those derby sisters who make you want
to be a better person and they push you because they know you can do it. And that’s
a powerful relationship.
Leanns return to skating, and moreso banked, was a nice
surprise. She was doing great. Since I have no experience on banked track, I
can only go by what I’ve heard, and that once you get your flow for the curves
of a banked track, that it can be pretty easy (in a sense if skating is already
easy for you).
Also during this episode, it showed highlights of what
family derby players go through. You go throughout life and when you get older,
you seem to live life for other people. That is especially true for parents. In
the beginning her kids were super stoked, then not so stoked because they were
bored with the subject of roller derby. Since its such a time commitment, I’m
sure its such a struggle to balance the well being of yourself and your
children. To resolve this, Leann bought her oldest daughter some roller skates.
How adorable is that?
Leann goes to the Austin Banked-tracked league Hellcats to
do evals to see if she is ready for her first banked track bout. Guys, I was
hella nervous for her. Clearly she was as well. She couldn’t do basic things
that she had practiced, specifically a T-Stop. I think we all have been
introduced to this in our derby careers. Being evaluated no matter what is
hard, and the basics of derby are just that: hard. But, they are the most
important. The decision makers to see if she could play in her first game had
major concerns, which frankly I’m glad they did. Introducing a girl into her
first bout in only 5 weeks time, and not even on the floor that she is used to,
should be CAREFULLY CONSIDERED.
The next day she walked in to her first bout on the team,
but didn’t know if she would get to play. Can I just say that when she was explaining derby for the
audience I cringed a little when she said the jammer was the most important
player on the team? I mean yeah, jammers are important, but I’m all for equal
loving to all the players. A jammer can’t win by herself (well unless you’re on
team usa or the likes of) but I’m just being picky.
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| The Cherry Bombs (green) who played against the Hellcats in the episode. Photo by Earl McGehee |
Its hard to tell how much she played, but at least once she
jammed, and she got lead jammer, and even though it looked like she skated
completely out of bounds and in front of the track, she got points.
At the end, Lucky 7 admitted that she was training her
personally for 3 hours every day for over 5 weeks. Kudos for Leann for putting
up with that shit for that long.
I wish we could have found out what happened
afterward. I am trying to find her online but its actually pretty difficult. I
thought I would easily find out where she was at now, but I can’t find her. Apparently
she is no longer with TXRD. It’s pretty sad because I thought she woulds tick
with it especially with her beginning credentials! If you know any info, I
would love to hear where she is now and how she is doing. Her derby name is LeeLoo Malice, which I have found seems to be more than 1 in the derbyverse.
Anyways, that was my review and thoughts on that episode of MADE. I know it is lengthy, but shit like derby is my life and I wanted to see if television got it right! and I wanted to see what other people who don't know about derby were going to see. I was glad that it wasn't a joke, and I was glad she was serious.
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