Derby 1, 2 3's for a Rookie, from a Rookie.

Before going into this post, I just want to say that this was written when I had just started roller derby. I was not a great skater when I started (not even mediocre), and I wasn't even up to part until at least a year into my derby career. Roller Derby has changed my life, and I like to think that since the beginning that I have been perceived pretty well throughout my derby family, even when I was terrible. It all comes down to attitude. After ending my first roller derby season, I feel like I have an ungodly amount of wealthy information, but these tips still relate to everything. I have jumped leaps and bounds for a first season, and have gone from not passing my WFTDA test for almost a year, then to the next year playing on a B-team, and then filling in to play for an A-level WFTDA team who is in the top 25 in their region in under a years time. While to some that may not seem like much, knowing my derby history, I am damn proud. I have had the most wealthy, life changing, personality changing, and terrifying experiences of my life. 

If you are considering roller derby at all, please keep in mind that this sport is not just for you to look cool. I take this seriously, and thousands of women take this seriously. It's not easy, and at times it is not even fun, but at the end of the day it is something that I love. I want you to love it too.

Moving on, I have not changed this from when I wrote it (but I did add images and captions). Therefore, it has lots of spelling and grammatical errors. It will keep it honest from my beautiful fresh meat days.


Roller Derby is an exciting and intriguing sport for women that has deep roots and traditions. There are over 758 leagues in the world that are manned with brutal broads that have been skating for years. Intimidating, right? If you are thinking about trying derby out, there are some things you should be prepared for.

As a rookie with no ties in the derby field, I had no idea what to expect when I walked into my first practice. Prior to then, I had never even roller skated before. Now with a couple months under my belt and advice from the girls in the league, I know some basic essentials for rookies.

The 1 photo from my first ever mash-up, which happened to sort of be my first bout.
I played in 2 jams, and drove 4 hours to get there.
Here is to highlighting my derby name, Tupac Shank-Her, #8100D

1. Roller Derby is not thinking of a cool name and wearing fishnets. Yes, these are things you may think about later, but when you are a rookie you need to be learning how to skate, the rules of the game, and learn everything you can. The names like Marylin Monrouge and Beyonslay are awesome, but if you can’t skate or hit, you won’t get drafted on a team, therefore you won’t be playing. There is a lot of hard work, time, and blood that goes into roller derby, so don’t disrespect the women of the league by walking in for the first time and thinking you are already a roller girl.

Just look at the agony in my face. Tailbone meeting concrete floor isn't always fun. Photo is from  Jeffrey Bazzell

2. Pain is the Game. If you aren’t prepared to hurt from shin splints, feet blisters, back pain, and quaking thighs, then don’t even think about going out to get hit by one of the girls. Just skating around in circles can hurt, if you are going hard and in a skaters position. Before you go into your first practice, you should ask if you need pads right away or if you will be just skating, or if they have pads for you to borrow. Either way, if you are serious about the sport, you will need a skaters helmet, wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, and mouth guard. Every girl will tell you this: don’t settle on the cheapest gear. You need to protect your body, and trust me, you will be falling a lot.

My first bout (I didn't even have a jersey) in Feb. 2012, over a year after I started. Photo is from  David Strong.

3. Don’t expect to be rostered for a bout (game). There are a lot of rookies that stay rookies for a long time. Like I’ve said, roller derby is hard. Not everyone is born to be a great roller skater, let alone being able to hit and endure pain like roller girls can. You can be trained to do the right moves, but until you’ve gotten a lot of experience, it is best for you to be in the background. You need to go to every practice, go to open skate sessions, speed skate practices, and spend time with your team. Just because you aren’t playing, doesn’t mean you are not part of the team. You need to start paying your monthly dues, sign your bylaws, pay for insurance, and go to the events. At the game, you need to be stamping hands, laying down the track, cleaning up, whatever you can do to ensure the best environment and game possible for your players. Don’t get jealous of the veteran girls, be supportive.


4. Learn how to play the game. Roller derby is confusing. If you aren’t out there doing it, then you might not fully understand what they are doing. If you don’t, ask questions. Don’t be embarrassed to ask what is happening and why because all the girls had to learn the game too. They have been in your shoes (or skates). The best way to learn the game is to watch it, a lot. There are many games available to watch on the Internet, and YouTube has a goldmine of roller derby games and skating how-to’s. When watching a game, learn each position of jammer, pivot, and blockers. Pick out one person to watch in each jam (or session to score points) and focus on them and what they are doing. Still, the best way to understand is to play, but don’t let your lack of knowledge of the game keep you from trying your hardest.

A group of SRG at our beloved derby sister J.F.Slay's wedding.

5. Your new teammates will be your sisterhood. As a rookie, I was really nervous to join because I didn’t know anyone. Soon though, it was easy to see that these are amazing women and they are open and willing to get to know you. You will be spending a lot of time with these people, so it is good to open up to them. Practice will be two to three times a week, bout will go on all season, and after-parties and events will happen whenever possible. You are not just playing a new sport, you are adopting a family and lifestyle. The people around you will have a wealth of knowledge, so don’t be afraid to ask them questions and to help you out. The people you can meet may change your life.

Another important thing to know is to HAVE FUN. This sport is hard, but it is fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t be afraid of looking stupid. Don’t be afraid to fall. Don’t be afraid to cry. Just keep rolling.